My first experience with inner healing occurred in high school.
I had dramatically come to know Jesus Christ, although at the time, it was more of a revelation that I instantly ‘knew’ there was a God; where before up to that event, I could only assume there was NO GOD. So in ‘knowing’ Jesus Christ, I really only knew He at least made me and supposedly ‘loved me’, but at 17 years old, what does it even mean to be loved by another if you have never ‘felt love’ in a close and human way?
Inner healing could change that, my mom told me; the Holy Spirit would reveal to me all of those painful and troubling parts of your youth and heal them.
Why do you think I need healing? I thought. What is wrong with me? If I admit there is something ‘wrong’ with me, isn’t that a sign of weakness?
There’s NOTHING WRONG with me MOM! I’m okay…I don’t NEED INNER HEALING!
My troubles continued, and the sad fact of not using the opportunity to attend an ‘inner healing’ service is that I probably needed it more than anyone there!
It is just when you grow up the way I did, it was survival of the fittest. I was to protect myself first at all times, and that includes any admission of weakness on my part might mean I wasn’t okay, and I AM OKAY, because if I keep telling myself that enough times, eventually I will be okay…(little secret here: that type of thinking is self-affirmation…very popular form of trying to convince yourself that you are okay, or that you can change merely by ‘thinking’ about that change and eventually ‘believing it’.) I eventually realized through prayer and a super dousing of the Holy Spirit upon me one night, I was NOT OKAY.
I had grown up without ever understanding the depth of the Father’s love for me simply because I had never received an ounce of my own father’s love while growing up.
Children have to be told they are loved in a sincere and true way….they don’t quite understand the concept of ‘of course’ I love you, you have a roof over your head, don’t you? When have you gone hungry? etc., etc., No, I child needs to be told directly: Son, I love you…I forgive you….I want what God wants for you.
If we can be so fortunate as a son or daughter to hear those very words, and have them heard so that it is branded into our consciousness,then we have been very fortunate as children becoming emotionally healthy adults; but if not, there is always God’s ways of healing, and that is through the Holy Spirit’s gift of ‘inner healing’.
It doesn’t usually happen to you by yourself just because you asked for it; usually, inner healing comes about after you have been prayed over by others….and after praying over you to receive ‘inner healing’, they continue to pray for you to continue receiving healing.
In my case, it was more dramatic to me than had I suddenly had a limb that had been gone re-appear…and I mean that. I woke up the next day and I was completely taken aback to how ‘different’ I was….all so different…it almost was scary.
Before, I could remember nearly every episode of when someone I knew had ‘hurt’ me with a verbal slight or an intentional look-down-upon….Now, after receiving inner healing, I could not remember one thing about anyone who had hurt me. I was amazed.